A Habitual View

They say that bad habits die hard…or something like that. I guess that’s true. Well, for me anyway. However, part of kicking a bad habit is first realizing that the habit is not good for you, maybe it even hurts you to some extent. Then comes the challenging task of replacing that habit with a healthier, more suitable one. It takes a great deal of focus and intentionality. It takes work. But at the end of the day you are better off with this change.

So why am I ranting about habits? Well I’m glad you asked! Our entire lives are built on habits and it’s our habits that help shape who become (at least Aristotle thought so). Our habits also tell us a lot about ourselves, how we view and value ourselves, and where we can improve. It’s quite fascinating.

I didn’t really grasp the full weight and consequences of certain habits until I started seeing a therapist. She helped me to see that I had a bad habit of self-neglect that could even be seen as mild self-harm. When I know I have to get up early for something, I’ll intentionally stay up super late. I’ll eat foods that severely upset my stomach on purpose. I will procrastinate so long on an assignment just to see myself frantically cram at the end. As a result I’m more stressed, sleep deprived, and unhealthy than I should be. It’s almost like I’m subconsciously setting myself up to fail.

Now I can probably spend hours trying to decipher why I do those things, and it is something that I am definitely still working through. I am gradually putting a routine in place that is more beneficial. However, this has really caused me to sit back and ponder on all of the habits, good and bad, that influence my life. Now I have a chance to throughly examine them and decide which ones to keep and replace, because it truly makes a difference.

I challenge you to stop and think about the various habits that you’ve maintained throughout your life. Have they shaped your personhood? How different would you be if you adopted different habits?

You Already Were

A rumbling conundrum transpires in a separate realm

That of which our spirit dwells

We calculate how long it takes until the virtual understanding of ourselves,

deems insurmountable significance

Hold fast because opportunity awaits

Stay sharp because the wind blows as it may

but when it decides to blow in your direction, will you be prepared?

Tarry not the inspiration

Bettering to what’s already good

The ships quake in the sea of your brilliance

The potency that settles discrepancies,

of your soul.

Dare not fall into the pit of complacency

For it is a poisonous entity

Yet pick up all that is within you

and plunge toward the day

The sun will greet you

it’s rays will embrace you

and you, as well, will become golden

Then you will open your eyes and see

that you already were

The Regard

Perhaps the vigilance and pestilence lie beneath the winds,

The fury sweeping across the downward fog.

Time is partial, she only favors the ones who treat her fairly.

If only time was a virtue then we would strive to be more like her.

Poignant are the ones who hope for what is coming still

cognizant are the people who banish fears on account of love,

love that was once lavished without fault

Redeemed are the brave who turn to the purifying flame,

to be refined and made precious once more.

vigilant are all who behold the spectacle of a lifetime,

and make abundant the stances of all it condones.

The golden key lies beneath the city of deception,

across the quarries of corruption.

Who said that this year is not for the worthy ?

Is breath still in your lungs?

Is blood still in your veins?

Does the sun still rise?

Then the grandeur of your life is at hand.

Carry it through until the end.

 

 

Mental Self Care

What does self care mean to you? Are they simply the golden buzzwords of our generation or is there some value to this notion?

I think that it is imperative to take care of yourself, so I will always encourage it. We know that a proper self care routine takes time, but usually we understand this and make the time to ensure the perpetuation of our wellbeing.

If I want to maintain healthy hair, then I will take the time to cleanse, condition, deep condition, sleep on silk to keep it soft , style it properly, and stay away from harsh products.

If I want to maintain healthy skin, then I will take the time to wash and moisturize my face, wear face masks, and be mindful of the type of makeup I wear.

If I want to maintain healthy teeth, then I will be sure to brush, floss, and go to the dentist when I need to.

If I want to maintain a healthy body, then I will most definitely take the time to eat fresh and nourishing foods and generally stay away from foods that are overly processed. I will exercise, drink more water, and get adequate rest.

The thing is, I know what I need to do to stay healthy, but it all comes down to the execution. I intentionally set aside time (sometimes a lot of time!) for these things because I’m worth it. I am worth the time and effort, and you are too! But know that it does take time and it does take effort. There’s no way around that.

The same is true for our mental health.

It grieves me because I don’t always have the courage to take the proper steps for optimal mental self care. For some reason, I have viewed my mental health as inferior to my physical health for serval years. I knew what I needed to do to take care of my mental health, but I didn’t always venture out and do it because I felt like it didn’t matter as much.

Evidently, I am breaking out of that crippling conception. I have come to the realization that my mental wellbeing is vastly significant and should be treated with the utmost care. If I need to retreat into the wilderness for a couple of hours just to clear my head, then I’ll do it. If I need to leave a scenario because it’s ultimately way too taxing on my mind, then I’ll do that. If things get a little too severe and I need to talk to a professional, then I will not be afraid to go and find one!

Why? Because my mental health is worth it. I’m worth it.

And you are too.

If you don’t glean anything else from this, here’s what I want to emphasize:

Do not be afraid to do what it takes for your mental health.

If you think you need medication, go seek that out. If you think you need a therapist, go get one. If you think you need a change of environment, change it up.  If you need to make a lifestyle adjustment, go for it. If you simply need a chat with a close friend, call them up. Just take that first step! You deserve to be the absolute best version of yourself.

A word of caution: I am by no means telling you to ‘pull yourself up by the bootstraps’. If you feel like you’re drowning and you need help, do not suffer alone and try to fix it by yourself. Go get help! But it takes great audacity to reach out, and that’s what I’m encouraging.

I am hopeful that we can progress toward a culture that is open and honest about various struggles in regard to mental health. We are certainly making strides, but we still have a long way to go. Let’s normalize the conversation and dilapidate the stigmas. Do not believe those pesky lies that you and your mind lack virtue. You are irrevocably and undeniably worth taking care of.

 

Ephemerality

In regard to ephemerality, it’s incredibly easy to get caught up in the current that society sends us. All it takes is one glance to realize that we’re floating adrift, haphazardly tuned into another frequency that is selling us a false sense of urgency for things that have no lasting value. Quite frankly, it’s the redeemable aspects of life that remind us to shift our focus. Daring is the fact that each day brings us closer to the end. Why should we cast our best thoughts and energy to frivolous fantasies? We could cultivate something that goes far beyond our own expectations and leaves a lasting mark for generations to come.

Reminiscence

In regard to reminiscence, I often think back to origins, where I was born and raised. That place holds great significance in my heart as it is where I formed my first friendships, spent quality time with extended family, and laid the foundation for my adult life. One could argue that the place I am living in now is better in a multitude of ways, yet it is hard to let go of what’s familiar to you. Oftentimes I am at a loss due to not adjusting as well as I feel I should. Surely a year should be enough time, but I was wrong. Perhaps that’s all a part of the process, striking a balance. Learning to embrace where you came from but continually stepping forward into new opportunities.

Aptitude

In regard to aptitude, we each hold a gift, a remarkable talent that cannot be matched. Eloquently, it boils over into divine exuberance as it becomes more and more pronounced. To embrace these things is to cherish the passions that prominently dwell in us. The virtue of being truly cognizant of that potential paired with the tenacity to see it come to fruition is highly laudable.

Fortitude

In regard to fortitude, perhaps it’s safe to say that at some point we have all felt the treacherous bite of fear as it’s venom sinks deep into our veins. Uncertainty has a way of tauntingly clasping the hearts of those who dream big, or who even dream at all. True, happily ever afters are never promised and what lies ahead can be startling. Sometimes life presents us with situations that seemingly leave no choice but to run and hide; yet there is something simmering underneath the surface. Something that compels us to step forward despite the current climate of opposition. Tap into that, for your influence is great and the world needs to hear what you have to say. It’s time that we channel the strength and bravery to say it.

Solace

In regard to solace, we seem to think that our needs are too great, that our emotions are too complex to embrace the substantial qualities that are available for us to thrive. Like rubies in a wasteland, we tend to overlook the treasure hiding in plain sight. When we slow down, reflect, and appreciate, we allow the bud of gratitude to grow and flourish. Likewise, the weeds of entitlement begin to shrivel up. The paradigm shifts and we are graciously reminded of a new hope.

Free the Bird

I am a thinker. I hold strong value to sound reasoning and logical discourse. I enjoy wading in sea of cognizance and it is my great pleasure to strategize and analyze my way through life. I am on a never ending search for the deeper meaning of things, always reading between the lines. I am greatly intrigued by the interplay between notion and reality, how it correlates with the brink of society.

Yes, I am a thinker.

It’s what I resort to when I reach a crossroads or a pivotal point in life. It’s my safety net when things go awry, I always try to figure out why. Thinking ahead, thinking behind, thinking of the nonexistent, all of it consumes me. Its who I am.

I am a thinker.

I am a feeler. This is also major part of me. I am a feeler as much as I am a thinker, yet I tend to neglect this side of me. It is like a bird shut away in a cage, yearning to be noticed. I know it is there, but I refuse to give it the proper attention. It is my natural inclination to feel deeply, regardless of the emotion at hand. When I love, it is so strong and it overtakes me like a hurricane. When I hurt, it cuts into my heart with a blade of fire. Because of my innate and rich capacity to feel, usually the intensity goes unmatched in most relationships and I end up wounded. In all honesty, it scares me how deep I feel, which is plausibly why I tend to ignore it. Subsequently, I have tried to numb myself over the years but the façade is not holding up. It is draining me and I know that is not my true self.  So what is there to do? Vulnerability is a challenge that I’m not ready to face, but I know that I must.

Yes, I am a feeler.

Its time to free the bird.