The Oaks

There is a rumbling through this boisterous land

a rumbling of pain that echoes amongst the passageways

The oak trees absorb it with their roots and have retained it for hundreds of years

they quake as the capacity reaches a maximum, for it has conditioned them

the soil is degrading and the nutrients have been stripped

they have coped for so long that it has become nothing but normal

their bark is hardened and the core of their trunks have clinched like a fist

yet it still stands with dignity, with poise, with abundance

 

At the dawn of a newborn sun, the rain fell

it was a vibrant and refreshing rain

rejuvenating, nourishing, poignant

like the crisp, cool breeze off the ocean

on a hot summer day

the oaks took one elongated sigh of relief

a sigh of release

the breath that flowed from within sang back to the rain

a new song

a song of hope

a song of restoration

a song of healing

the melodies rang through the earth

and became stronger with each measure

the harmonies became more intricate with each line

and every note delivered the sonic resonance

that had been so aptly ignored for centuries

 

but its only the beginning

a brave start

one that is inevitable

 

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Free the Bird

I am a thinker. I hold strong value to sound reasoning and logical discourse. I enjoy wading in sea of cognizance and it is my great pleasure to strategize and analyze my way through life. I am on a never ending search for the deeper meaning of things, always reading between the lines. I am greatly intrigued by the interplay between notion and reality, how it correlates with the brink of society.

Yes, I am a thinker.

It’s what I resort to when I reach a crossroads or a pivotal point in life. It’s my safety net when things go awry, I always try to figure out why. Thinking ahead, thinking behind, thinking of the nonexistent, all of it consumes me. Its who I am.

I am a thinker.

I am a feeler. This is also major part of me. I am a feeler as much as I am a thinker, yet I tend to neglect this side of me. It is like a bird shut away in a cage, yearning to be noticed. I know it is there, but I refuse to give it the proper attention. It is my natural inclination to feel deeply, regardless of the emotion at hand. When I love, it is so strong and it overtakes me like a hurricane. When I hurt, it cuts into my heart with a blade of fire. Because of my innate and rich capacity to feel, usually the intensity goes unmatched in most relationships and I end up wounded. In all honesty, it scares me how deep I feel, which is plausibly why I tend to ignore it. Subsequently, I have tried to numb myself over the years but the façade is not holding up. It is draining me and I know that is not my true self.  So what is there to do? Vulnerability is a challenge that I’m not ready to face, but I know that I must.

Yes, I am a feeler.

Its time to free the bird.

 

Inexplicable Sadness

I grieve, but what am I grieving?

what is this tone of melancholy that peaks though the crevices of my inner being?

often ignored, yes. For it is subtle to an extent.

But there it remains, lying beneath the surface

I’ve learned to carry it with everything

To excuse it as just a part of me

But I know that its not.

What is this? This inexplicable sadness

This sadness without reason, this sadness without cause

What is it?

I’d desperately like to know

Perhaps its my psyche trying to tap me on my shoulder

to let me know of some deeper pain that I dare not touch

Or it could be that my mind needs ample reinforcement

because the days get long and tiresome

and there is so much for this beautiful brain to process

that it can get bogged down by the very essence of life

The mind is precious so I must treat it as such

and I will not condemn it for doing what young minds do

Maybe my mind just needs a little reassurance

a gentle and loving hand to guide it in the right direction

Maybe my mind is different from the rest

Maybe it’s not as resilient as some might think

and that’s okay.

One must learn to navigate this world in their own unique way

I’m still learning

and that’s okay.

 

Tidal Waves

Tidal waves crashing on the shore of my mind

Constantly moving between here and now, the future, and pastime

The rhythm is soothing, almost as if it is reassuring

seemingly trying to reintroduce the values that were once buried in mediocrity

The sand shifts as if it knew

That reinforcement was a vital entity

Perhaps the grandeur is yet to be enthroned

Quintessentially speaking

Perpetually seeking

Holistically breathing

Oh why do we even morn the loss of what we could not have?

As if it was something dear to the heart

But the heart, oh the heart

must know more that we

Wistfully it utters simplistic murmurs

with great aptitude and sweet solace

Cradling the treasures of the soul

pouring into vast supply of whimsy and intrigue

Take care of it

all of it

For your mind is gold

your heart, a jewel

and your soul as rich as the newborn sun

Give unto these and in turn

you may give these unto others

 

 

 

Christians and Mental Health

In light of World Mental Health Day, I felt the need to pay homage and express something that has been on my mind lately. This is a topic that I am very passionate about and I believe that those who struggle with mental illness of any kind and stature should have a voice. Not just a voice, but a voice that is heard; and not only heard, but understood. Unfortunately, I find this harder amongst the Christian community and I feel for them, deeply.

I was raised entirely in a Christian home and went to church all my life. Sadly the stigma is so thick that it can be frustrating and seemingly impossible for young people to cut through. The mere mental struggles that our Christian youth are grappling with are simply painted over with broad strokes of “Christians shouldn’t be depressed, you need to trust in God and pray more” or “The bible says ‘be anxious about nothing’ so you shouldn’t have anxiety”. Now I am in no way degrading the bible or the power of prayer. I completely believe that God can heal a person’s mind, but first we must acknowledge that this person’s mind is in fact, ill.

This is where I pose a problem. Mental health is rarely discussed in the church and I feel that most think that it is a rather hostile environment to talk about these issues. It breaks my heart to see so many youth profusely drowning in mental illness because they cannot have a healthy conversation in the church or with their families. Therefore it is hard for them to get the adequate help that they need because nobody takes them seriously. If someone were to reveal that they had cancer (which I have seen many times in my church), the whole congregation would crowd over this person to pray and offer support through money, food, time, encouragement, etc. Yes, I’m sure they would share a few scriptures in this trying time, but they would not use them to downplay the fact that this individual’s body is ill. I’m sure they would positively tell this person to “trust in God and He’ll bring you through it” instead of using the tone of “this is happening because you are not trusting in God enough”. I could be missing the mark on this, but I’m speaking from my personal experience.

We live in a fallen world and our bodies are susceptible to disease and ailments. So wouldn’t it make sense that our brains are just as susceptible to ailments as well? Our minds get sick just like our bodies get sick. Thus, we take the proper precautions to insure that our bodies get well. Why can’t we do the same for our minds? We can start by having the conversation in a very open, non-judgmental manner. We need to become more aware of those battling with mental health problems, especially the youth because they may not know how to cope as well. We need to come alongside our brothers and sisters in Christ who are wallowing in the trenches and offer them a hand of support, to encourage them and let them know that are seen and heard. We need to prominently bust through the thick wall of stigma and vividly build something new. We need to take action, both as individuals and as the church. God could use you to help someone in their healing process, and I believe that we need to create an environment where this very thing can happen.

 

Ribbons

Scarlet ribbons made of silk

come wrap around this heart

firmly embrace it like a bandage

mend all where it bleeds

Let the meandering of these thoughts be crystalized

Preserved for the heightened opportunity

to differentiate and to initiate

the movement

the call

O but insecurities can be embedded so deeply!

Their roots have become so prominent that

it almost cut off the life source

but like a great gardener

we must pull up the weeds

and in its place

sow meaningful seeds

Yet it must be intentional

purposeful

by design

The wave of healing is rising

let it fall and cleanse all who stand in its way.

 

 

 

 

 

The Process

The glimmer is on your back

Turn around so you can see it

Bewildered are you? I understand.

It’s all a part of the process

Granted, each day that we live

We live to grasp the purpose

The perplexity of it all

Sometimes doesn’t make sense

But that’s all a part of the process

The recipe for reconciliation

Is often embellished

Perhaps to encourage the tenacity

To provoke a change in the city

Your city

Who stirs the pot in your heart?

Why can’t you run from it?

The circular motion entices you

You sway with the rhythm

It goes deeper

Until it is fully embedded in your soul

Now what?

You take the pen

I trust you with it

Your handwriting is a beautiful thing

The world needs to see it

But beyond the surface

Know that whatever it takes

Will be worth the fight

Trust me,

Its all

A part of

The process